High School Musical -- I Get It. Mostly.

This song is like Peter Cetera Good. No Kidding.


So even though I never considered myself much of a 'tween', I finally made it through High School Musical. . . and I don't know if it's cuz I've still got some 12 year old in my soul or maybe it's the half a vicotin I had tonight (Back's hurting. . . The Vic did nothing. Ibuprofen much better.) . . . but I think I GET it.

So. . . the things I'm guessing and learning from this:


1) It's good. . . but how the heck is it so huge? Disney did not expect this thing to blow up like it did. I mean. . . seriously. They weren't like "This is gonna make up for Meet The Robinsons sucking big ass" when they original released it. I mean it's better than the average 'Disney Channel Movie of the Month'. . . but it ain't no Ten Things I Hate About You. How the hell it was like the #1 album of the year. . . I'm just not sure. Can someone who's like 9 explain please?

2) It's one third as good as GREASE. The first two acts suck. . . but the big third act where they have to have a (SPOILER ALERT) singing contest, big basketball game, academic decathalon and two big dance numbers including the finale is totally good and had me actually doing a little bit of dancing like I was practicing for a Rocky Horror screening. The big duet (Breaking Free) is Peter Cetera worthy. I mean it's American Idol good.

3) Zac Effron = Partridge Family on Steroids. Though by the time HSM 2 rolls around, he might be super great, John travolta and Olivia Newton John are way ahead of HSM lead Zac Effron . . . who is like David Cassidy as a jock. . . which pisses me off because if there's a guy in the high school paradigm who has everything (smarts, good looks, a great singing voice, AND popularity and jockiness), that truly only leaves nerds with goth makeup, bell choir, and smoking cigarettes out behind the dumpster. AKA nothing of lasting value to live for.

And that's what I got to say about that.

PS: 80's FLASHBACK club. . . The guy who wrote half the music in HSM 1 is ROBBIE NEVILLE who many of you will know had a big hit with 'Cest La Vie' back in our Howard Jones/Falco days. Which all somehow makes sense.

300 Reviewed! In a Word: Gratuitous

Just got back from a full screening of 300*. Rest assured, the previews are true.

300 is a Sportcenter highlight reel of over the top violence, manly closeups, and boobs. It's like Braveheart or Gladiator but with none of that boring 'Oscar winning' material put in for chicks or self-important movie critics.

It's comprised entirely of fighting with gratuitous slowmo, violence with gratuitous limb severing, gratuitous monologues belted out with extreme vigor, and gratuitous boobs with extreme nipple.

I didn't keep count, but it certainly must meet the Bloodsport Benchmark** for action movie quality.

In other words, it's not much of a date movie, but it's certainly Manlaw approved.



* The preview screening came courtesy of a Streetwise mailing list. Even though I am sure Streetwise would like nothing better than for me to express my pleasure for this film by posting a glowing review on my blog, I am still doing just that.

** The Bloodsport Benchmark: The quality of some movies can be judged purely by comparing the number of minutes in the film against its combined number of fight, exploding, chase and sex scenes . Bloodsport with approximately 9 fights, 1 chase, and 1 sex scene (11 total) in something like 88 minutes sets the gold standard with its ratio of approximately 8:1.