Monday, July 09, 2007

Pavanomics: Points or No Points -- An Age of Love Recap

Tonight on Age of Love, the 40-something cougars vs. 20-something coyotes had 5 minutes to put points on the board with tennis star Mark Philopoopadopolis. What did they say? Read and learn in this edition of POINTS OR NO POINTS

  • FLATTERY: You're a beautiful man with a beautiful heart (no points and kicked off the island)
  • SHY: I didn't have that instant electricity, but it's because I was nervous (no points)

  • THE "TALK ME INTO IT": I wasn't sure I wanted to be here. . . but with each little time I got to spend with you, the more I wanted to stay (no points)

  • LOW ESTEEM WITH A JEALOUS CLOSER: It scares me to open up. . . and when you went to kiss me, I thought of Kelli kissing you and it freaked me out. (POINTS. With tear wiping action and an apology to boot.)

40-Something Tactics
  • THE VIC DAMONE WITH AN ASK CLOSER: I'm so happy to be here, and I feel a connection with you. But I feel you may be holding back a little bit, and I don't know why, because I feel you should have kissed me by now. (POINTS. First base with a knee grasp and tongue.)

  • THE OPEN MIND: Who you date is none of my business. What is my business is what happens between you and me. (POINTS. First base, but just barely. No tongue.)

  • DESPERATION, THE STINKIEST COLOGNE: We all want to find love. . . but if it's not with you, that would break my heart. (POINTS. But required a back of hair grab on her part. The back of hair grab may have got her ass booted off the island.)
  • THE STRAIGHT ASK: Can I ask you something? Will you kiss me? (POINTS. With tongue.)

MORAL (evidently): Cougars know that if you're on a date and you ask a boy to kiss you, he probably will. . . even if he's got a lot more dates in the same night.

1 comment:

Nobis said...

Well done, sir. Brilliant analysis.

Does this show need a color commentator? I'd be honored to serve as your play-by-play guy if you'd do the color work.