Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Glock D Ea$y Money

So good I gots to post it straight up. From Mitchmo:

----- Forwarded Message ----
From: Mitchell Kenneth Nobis
To: nobismit@msu.edu
Sent: Monday, October 30, 2006 3:50:15 PM
Subject: My proudest teaching moment

I have to boast for a moment and share what may very well be my proudest
moment ever as a teacher. I teach a good deal of persuasive writing, and
every fall I instruct my students in English 2, mostly sophomores, to write
a letter to the editor. They aren't required to submit it to the newspaper,
but they get 10 bonus points if it's published in a widely circulated paper
like the Lansing State Journal. Most of my students write about topics like
the elections or why John L. Smith should be fired as MSU's football coach,
and about ten of them get published every year. But those are usually
pretty normal letters to the editor. This year, I had a couple of
standouts. The following two letters were actually published by the LSJ:

"Dance for office"

I think the whole running for governor thing should be a big dance-off. The
candidates could hire the people from the BME clique like crunk artists Lil
Jon and Bohagon. They should get people from Ciara's music video "Goodies"
to be background dancers.

At the final dance, they could go get Lil'Kim out of prison so she can be
the judge, like in the movie "You Got Served." That would be the best day in
Michigan's history.
Joshua Rau

And my favorite:

"Cheney's 'gangsta'"

Dick Cheney came to my town of Bath for a fundraiser at Hawk Hollow Golf
Course. It got me thinking, when I grow up I want to be like Dick Cheney.

He's our vice president and, let's face it, he runs the show. He can shoot
75-year-old-men in the face and not even get jail time.

If I shot a 75-year-old man in the face I'd get locked up real quick. Dick
Cheney is my hero because he's hard-core gangsta for real. I think that we,
as a people, should start calling him Glock D Ea$y Money--because that's a
straight gangsta name.
Juan Martinez

Now sure, you could respond to this by questioning the judgment of the LSJ's
opinion page editors, which you probably should, or you could just be wildly
entertained by it like I am. Regardless, I know one thing for sure--I am
henceforth referring to Cheney as Glock D Ea$y Money every chance I get.

And you may rest easy, knowing that I'm teaching the children of America to
be active citizens in our democracy...

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