Saturday, April 01, 2006

Why Does top ten Hip Hop/R&B Suck? Because it's Made to be Remixed

The top 10 is all hip-hop or R&B at the moment, and it couldn't be more rotten*. This coming from someone whose job it is in my music snob wrecking crew to pick good stuff off the radio. Seriously, Hip-Hop sold out faster than Snoop-endorsed Pontiacs in Battle Creek, faster than the Black Eyed Peas could get Fergie's sweaty crotch front and center.

Musically, why do I hate these new Hip-Hop anthems? Lame samples, undanceable beats, and rhymes that don't flow with the music. The singles sound incomplete and off kilter. . . like they were too cheap to get all the instruments. (This is also why I'm not so into THE WHITE STRIPES.)

The Solution: REMIXES

I'm driving through the Chicago expressway construction maze on Saturday night and the local dance station is playing totally danced up mashups of Mary J. Blige single and that whiny 'I Wish' song (Chris Brown?). Seriously, Mary J. goes from ballad fembot to Diana Ross with the right backbeat, and the I Wish song with a two-step underneath it is totally Garage -- as in the Euro variety. And both are completely danceable.

Why can't they just get the damn songs right the first time?

* Noticeable R&B top-ten exceptions outside remixes: Rihanna's SOS -- the one with the Soft Cell sample and other R.Kelly stuff. Gwen Stefani--cuz that album's total R&B-ness so it qualifies, and the new Bubba Sparx is probably pretty good too.

1 comment:

Balah said...

Um, I don't think that's sweat...

Radio hip-hop has been a mess for about five years now. I still blame Chingy.

Agreed that the remixes tend to fix all flaws. Except for the euro-beat remix of that Kelly Clarkson ballad.